So Close
by Jennie-x
Summary: Jack Ianto Fluff. Rated M For Mature Content.


**Reading this story over I actually felt myself cry and I don't know why. I really should be doing science revision right now, but instead I wrote this and it took me two hours. I hope you like it, its actually my personal favourite of what I've written so far, and I usually don't like what I write. **

**The story is based on a song called So close by Jon Mclaughlin, its a beautiful song and if you haven't listened to it I recommend you to. **

**Reviews make me smile :)**

Ianto wanted to scream. He looked out at the audience who were watching intently, why had he decided to do this? He thought bitterly. And then remembered the heated phone argument from his former best friend from high school – Will Watkins.

"_Yan, you know I'd never ask you if I wasn't so desperate. We need a singer, we need you, one night only, please." _

"_I don't sing." Ianto had protested, he hated the fact that he was having this phone conversation in the middle of the hub, as his phone started ringing whilst nothing was going on and Jack told him it was okay to answer, mainly because he was curious to who was phoning his lover, as was Gwen, Toshiko and Owen. _

"_Yan, come on it will be like old times." The pleading voice continued. _

"_But.." _

"_Please." _

"_No." _

"_Please." _

"_Will you know what I'm like in front of crowds," Ianto said quietly, not sharing the amused grin his team mates and boyfriend were sharing at his dispense. _

"_You were amazing in high school, please. One night, if you don't do this we'll loose our slot at the pub." _

"_Fine, okay I'll do it." _

Ianto stood next to Will and three other guys, a drummer, a bass player and two guitarists including Will, which lead to Ianto being the front man. "You know the song right." Will checked.

"I fucking wrote this song back in high school." Ianto hissed.

"I was just checking." Will smiled. "Isn't that your friends at the bar?" Ianto's eyes shot up and looked across the crowded pub to see Jack, Toshiko, Gwen and even Owen starting at him, all smiling, except Owen.

"Shit." Ianto cursed. "Its going to look like I'm singing him a fucking love song."

"Oh well, lets go." The drummer smirked and they all jumped on the stage, Ianto a little less enthusiastically.

"Hey guys, just before we start our usual singer Matt has the flue so he's been replaced by Ianto Jones, former front man, enjoy!" As far as introductions were Will had always kept them short, much to Ianto's dislike as the more Will talked the less time Ianto would have to sing.

The music started and Ianto tried to stare at any one except Jack, and found it was too hard so as he started he just closed his eyes, that would be easier.

"**You're in my arms and all the world is gone  
The music playing on, for only two**

**So close together, and when I'm with you**

**So close to feeling alive**

_Ianto smiled, for the first time in what felt like years his lips curved into an honest and true smile, warm arms held him, shielded him from the pain that felt as though it was never ending. He inhaled the scent that made his stomach flutter with anxious butterflies as he tried to remember that this was his boss, he was doing his captain duties, protecting his team, but it felt like something so much more. He had nearly died, he could still feel the sharp blade at his neck, he could still feel his skin being tested to see if he was tender enough, he could still hear the grunts of pleasure they made when they decided he was good enough, he could even still smell his breath. But all the pain, the hurt that he felt weeks before because of Lisa, everything was slowly disappearing, and even though he had nearly died, his heart had broken and he was sure it had stopped beating. But now in Jack's arms, his heart had never beat so hard, so fast, so in love as it was now. _

**A life goes bye, romantic dreams must die**

**So I'll be reminded by but never knew **

**So close just waiting, waiting here with you, **

**And now forever I know **

**All that I wanted, to hold you So close **

_Its just sex, Ianto kept telling himself he shouldn't be feeling like this not when everything that their relationship consisted of was a few gropes in his office, a quick pinned fuck against the archives file cabinets, a few sleepless nights in the small bunk Jack had called a bed. It was all just sex. And yet Ianto was reaching for something more, needed something more. He knew they would never be a couple, he wasn't even sure if Jack did couples any more, the way Ianto saw it was that Jack had been around far too long to want to be held down by commitment, and he definitely knew Jack couldn't do domestic, not any more, maybe once upon a time with Estelle but not now and definitely not with Ianto. Yet he found himself waiting, waiting for Jack to realise what he wanted and that what he needed was Ianto. Ianto knew that he would wait forever, and as long as Jack held him at night after they've released the tension that working for Torchwood brought to them, he'd be fine waiting forever. _

**So close to reaching that famous happy ending**

**Almost believing this worlds not pretend**

**Now you're beside me and look how far we've come**

**So far we are so close **

_Ianto had slowly found himself slipping away from the world, though moving closer to Jack, because Jack was the only constant in his life yet he wasn't constant enough. He was breaking silently yet he was screaming for Jack to save him. _

"_I can't take this any more Jack, I can't take you." The last part was hidden behind tears but Jack had heard every word. _

"_You're breaking up with me?" Jack sounded hurt and that confused Ianto. _

"_There's nothing to break up." Ianto pointed out. _

"_What do you mean?" It was Jack's turn to be confused, Ianto wasn't making any sense. _

"_We were just sex, weren't we?" Jack didn't know how to answer, he knew he hid his emotions well but he always thought that Ianto could read him, could tell he was more than just a shag in the office, he was his lover. He didn't respond with words, instead he pulled Ianto close kissing him with so much passion and love that his eyes started to cry tears he didn't know were threatening to fall. _

**Oh how could I face the faceless days **

**If I should loose you now **

**We're so close to reaching that famous happy ending**

**Almost believing this world nots pretend **

**Go on dreaming though know we are **

**So close, so close and still so far" **

_Jack was gone, and Ianto was left alone. There was no one to hold him at night when memories of being almost butchered, or converted over took him, no one to make him laugh or smile at work, and no one to remind him just how special he was. He was alone. He was on the edge of loosing it all, and his team knew that, keeping a closer eye on him than normal they had saved him. But after three months Jack was back and he didn't need saving any more, because Jack was there to protect him from the world._

"_I came back for you." The words cut deep into Ianto's heart and he rushed up to Jack, wrapping his arms around him and kissing him with everything he had, because he needed it, he needed to feel alive again. Even though they knew they were more than just sex, nothing had ever been done about it not until Jack had asked him out on a date. It was a weird concept, two men, one over a hundred and fifty years old, the other barely twenty four, going out together, holding hands, and looking at each other as though they had loved each other for years even though they had only been on one date. _

_They ended up sleeping together in Ianto's plush double bed, they didn't have sex, just slept, holding each other, being close and being alive. "I love you Ianto," Jack whispered mainly because he knew Ianto was fast asleep. Jack couldn't help but smile as he felt Ianto snuggle even closer, and even though they were practically on top of each other, he knew that no matter how close they were, they were still too far apart, they would grow even closer in time. _

Ianto had grown some confidence half way through the song and had opened his eyes and found Jack staring intently at him. Once the song finished the room cheered loudly, he became nervous again and practically ran of the stage, Will and the band following.

"Fucking hell mate you were great, we've never got a response like that." Will pulled Ianto in for a hug, and the band joined in jumping around like teenage boys. "Come on, I want to meet this boyfriend of yours." Ianto nodded nervously and followed Will through the crowd, every now and again some one smiling saying well done or that was amazing.

"Who knew you had it in you." Was all Owen had said once he appeared, Ianto took this as a compliment and just smiled, his heart was still racing.

"Ianto, aren't you going to introduce me." Will smirked snapping Ianto out of his bubble.

"Right, Will that's Jack, Gwen, Toshiko and Owen, that's Will." Ianto said quickly.

"Cool to meet you." Will chirped. "Amazing isn't he." Ianto rolled his eyes and felt himself sink next to Jack who had moved over slightly wrapping an arm around him.

"More than amazing." Jack grinned.

"What you drinking Yan?"

"Pint." Ianto replied.

"That song was beautiful." Toshiko smiled, "Who wrote it?"

"That would be our Ianto." Will smiled. "Though you changed the words." Ianto didn't say anything, but he felt his team looking at him.

"I didn't even know you sang." Gwen said.

"Well there's a lot you don't know about me." Ianto smirked and Gwen just blushed slightly. "I'm going to pee." Ianto said quickly and headed for the toilet.

Being in the pub with his team and high school friend was just awkward, especially after they had watched him sing his heart out on stage, he took pride in being private and this was just something he couldn't face. He had told Jack that he didn't want him there and yet he couldn't bring him to be mad at him.

He stayed in the toilet for as long as possible without it looking weird, he made his way back over to the group five minutes later.

"Thought you got flushed in." Will smiled and handed him a drink.

"Thanks." Ianto said and took a very long mouthful.

"You're not mad at us for coming?" Toshiko asked guiltily.

"No, not mad." Ianto smiled.

"I'm glad you came." Will grinned. "I wanted to meet the boyfriend." Ianto rolled his eyes.

"Now you've met me what do you think?" Jack smiled.

"Better then the last bloke you pulled I'll give you that." Will smiled.

"I thought Jack was the only guy you've pulled." Gwen laughed.

"Nope, our Ianto's been bi since high school." Will smiled. "But I like you Jack, don't mess him around like, what was his name again?" Ianto just glared at Will. "That was it James."

"Actually it was Joshua but well done for the letter." Ianto mumbled, wondering if it would be weird if he went to the toilet again.

"Oh right who was James?" Will asked, almost forgetting that Jack, and the others were watching in amazement.

"Boyfriend number 3." Ianto smiled. "Remember you numbered them because you couldn't quiet keep it." Ianto said sarcastically.

"Oh, I remember him, what happened to him?" Will asked interestedly.

"I can't remember." Ianto laughed, looking at his watch.

"Got some where to be?" Jack smiled an amused smile at his boyfriend. Ianto wanted to tell him that he wanted to be at home fucking his brains out right about now but he couldn't bring himself so just ignored the question.

"Why aren't you over there with the band, you know doing groupies or something?" Ianto asked.

"Because I'd much rather be catching up with you," Will grinned, "And besides, the company here is far more interesting to a bunch of girls slurring over you."

"Yes because you were never one to go for the drunk bimbo types," Ianto laughed.

"Nope, when they're drunk they don't know what they're doing with their mouths." Will grinned.

"Toast you to that one mate." Owen smirked.

"How old were you when you wrote the song?" Toshiko asked as they moved to a booth.

"Nineteen." Ianto mumbled.

"I remember when you wrote it." Will laughed.

"Will, drop it yeah." Ianto whispered but Will hadn't heard him.

"Pretty young girl she was." Will continued, "Never forget her, amazing smile. What happened to her?" Ianto felt his insides turn, he wanted to throw up but instead took a very long mouthful of his drink before mumbling;

"She died." Silence filled the booth and Ianto wanted to escape yet again.

"Sorry mate." Will finally said.

"Its fine." Ianto lied, but smiled any way. "I'll go get some more drinks," he said once he finished his.

"I'll help." Jack smiled.

They stood at the bar in silence. "Jack, can we go?" Ianto asked.

"You okay?" Jack asked a concerned look on his face, up until Lisa was brought up he thought Ianto was having a good time.

"I just would rather be doing something else," Ianto rested his palm on Jack's chest and gently lowered his finger down his stomach, "Instead of sitting in a smoke filled pub."

"Point taken." Jack grinned. "One more round, then back to yours." Ianto nodded and they took the drinks back to the table.

"Yan mate I really am sorry for bringing it up.."

"Don't worry. Honestly," Ianto smiled.

"So you sure you don't want to quit your job and come on tour with us? Last time I can offer mate." Jack stopped in his tracks, tour? Ianto had been asked to go on tour with them. Even though Ianto had insisted that he hated singing and he was only doing tonight as a favour, Jack saw the smile Ianto wore as he became confident in the crowd and he could tell much he secretly loved it.

"I told you, tonight was a one off, so you wouldn't loose your slot." Ianto said after a minute.

"I lied." Will said quickly. "We don't have a front man, and we got offered a record label the day after our old one left, and I thought if we got you back, you would remember how much you loved it."

Ianto stared at Will an emotionless look on his face. "See you're thinking about it you want this." Will smiled.

"Will, come here." Ianto smiled and gestured for Will to get up, he didn't want to have a heart to heart with his friend not in front of Jack and his work mates. They stood at the bar once more, "I'm not joining your band, its not who I am any more. I've changed, I belong here."

"But what about us? The good times. We can see the world." Will grinned, Ianto could smell the alcohol and knew that was doing most of the thinking.

"I'm sorry, you'll find some one to be the front man like you always do, but I belong here now."

"Fine." Will stormed off in a bother, Ianto resisted the urge to follow him and walked back over to the booth and sat down and put his head on Jack's shoulder.

"Home now?" Ianto smiled and Jack nodded with a smile. After bidding goodbye to every one, they set off for Ianto's flat.

Once the front door was closed, Ianto pinned Jack against the wall kissing him with as much passion as he could, Jack responded to the kiss as he turned around making it Ianto that was pinned against the wall, he brought his legs up wrapping them around Jack's waist. The kiss becoming a mess of teeth and tongues as Jack carried Ianto to the bedroom

"Clothes, off, now." Jack ordered as he put Ianto into a standing position as they started taking of each others clothes. Once Jack was naked, Ianto was still in his boxers watching Jack with a playful smile. "See something you like?" Jack winked as he pushed Ianto onto the bed, slowly pulling his boxers off. Jack moved his lips to Ianto's and they shared a passionate kiss as they rolled each other over, fighting for control even though Ianto and Jack knew who would win: Jack.

Jack kissed down Ianto's stomach, he took his left nipple into his mouth, sucking and biting at it making Ianto moan and make delicious sounds that made Jack move his lips lower, Ianto's fists clenched the red bed sheets as he felt Jack's soft lips at the head of his erection, his wet tongue flicking over it ever so softly, and his warm mouth devouring what he wanted. The moans Ianto made were beautiful, bucking his hips Ianto allowed Jack to take him deeper, his eyes fluttered closed as he let the feeling of pure bliss wash over him. He was at the edge of coming when Jack stopped, Ianto opened his eyes.

"Don't you fucking dare." Ianto snapped desperately, his voice was scratched as he was deprived of what he needed.

Jack just grinned as he moved back up to Ianto, he put one finger in his mouth, sucking on it, running his tongue over it, as Ianto watched desperately, his eyes widening as he felt himself buck his hips with no control. Jack smiled as he reached over to the draw, intentionally rubbing his erection over Ianto's as he pulled the lube and a condom out. Slowly he rolled the condom on, aware that Ianto was watching with a hungry eye. He rubbed the lube in as Ianto moved into position, with his wet fingers, Jack moved in out of his entrance, he felt Ianto lean into the touch, noticing just how horny and desperate Ianto was after singing, and drinking.

"Jack just fuck me." Ianto ordered and Jack felt himself need to oblige. He moved himself over Ianto and slowly pushed himself in, once he felt Ianto relax, he built up a rhythm, in and out, in for a while out suddenly and back in harder each time, Ianto's hips moving to each thrust, both moaning, panting and sweating as they held each other.

After what felt like an eternity in heaven, they came together screaming each other's name. Jack pulled out softly, and watched Ianto's sweating body regain composure, he turned to stare at Jack arms wrapping around each other.

"I love you." Jack smiled, it was the first time Jack had told Ianto he loved him knowing he could hear.

"I love you too." Ianto smiled kissing him softly, resting his head against Jack's sweaty chest, he felt his stomach and thighs become sticky as the come started to dry but he couldn't bring himself to move away from Jack, instead he just pulled the covers over them.

After ten minutes, they were still awake, just enjoying the moment. "Yan, if you wanted to go with Will and the band, I wouldn't stop you."

Ianto felt himself stiffen, what was Jack saying. "You want me to go?" Ianto asked his voice hurt.

"No, but if you wanted to go, I wouldn't stop you." Jack whispered.

"I don't," Ianto said strongly. "I want to stay here with you forever, or if not forever for as long as possible." Ianto said looking up at Jack who had tears pouring down his eyes. "What's wrong?" Ianto asked softly as he rubbed the tears away with his thumb.

"I'm going to loose you, maybe not one day soon but in the end I'm going to loose you."

"I know." Ianto said softly. "But even if I die, I'll never leave you." Ianto whispered. "Because I'll always be right here." Ianto softly poked Jack's chest where his heart was.

"I love you." Jack whispered.

Ianto smiled and snuggled closer to Jack he couldn't help but think back to the song. The song that he had written for Lisa, though he had had always felt close to Lisa, he felt safe with her and loved her with his whole heart. But with Jack, he felt as though he was bullet proof, he loved him with his whole heart and whole existence, and even though he knew they were close he knew they would become even closer.


End file.
